Staying with grace

What race am I running? It's easy to desire to quit when things are hard and you are experiencing a pressure that you feel alone in. One that grips the soul and doesn't host a vocabulary that articulates the pain you carry. God knows your pain. Even when you cry to him and wonder why he has not yet rescued you from this moment- you can look at his son. He suffered- not because of anything he had done wrong. " In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence. Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered." - Hebrews 5:7-8. Learning obedience through suffering isn't something that you can do in your own strength. It takes grace.

I was recently diagnosed with minimal change disease this year. Through my experience with my healing journey right now I go through experiencing a lot of different side effects to the point of barely being able to climb the stairs sometimes due to inflammation. It's disheartening when you don't feel like yourself- physically or emotionally but what makes it almost unbearable is the time you are under pressure. When there's no control, comfort, or escape from hardship. Oftentimes we take a step back from God's favor to quiet our flesh through the distorted image of comfort sin provides. Sin causes shame, regret and cycles that leave you more empty. Sin demands for you to subscribe to continue to chase something that doesn't exist- an escape from feeling the pain. God gives more grace if you choose to submit yourself to going through the process. When you choose to understand that God always has a way for you to receive his comfort and direction in the suffering you are being transformed into his image. " Therefore, since Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same understanding—because the one who suffers in the flesh is finished with sin (2) As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God".

God has set your life up for you to run at a pace that fits his plan. We like to rush the process when we don't have the strength to keep going but that's the point. He desires for you to depend on him through these moments knowing he is by your side. His favor overshadows the steps you take when you choose to obey his will. In times of transitioning from one place to the next here's what you can do to stay in faith and not submit to fear- commit to humility & fixing your eyes on God. Grace is not a bubble keeping you separated from the world. It is not a safety net to bounce back on to hide from your own intentions.

How can you surround yourself with God's grace?Call on God with an honest heart. The Lord is near to them who call on him in truth. Tell him your concerns and surrender your plans at his feet through prayer. Ask him for his plans. He will bless you with grace to accomplish his will and as you do his will, you will find your soul to be satisfied in him.

Psalms 125:1-2 CSB-

"[1] Those who trust in the  Lord are like Mount Zion. It cannot be shaken; it remains forever.  [2] The mountains surround Jerusalem and the Lord surrounds his people, both now and forever."

Have you been running a race of comparing your life to others? God has a unique lane he has created specifically for you. Look to God for your instruction. People cannot instruct you in what they do not know or have not seen. In First Corinthians 2, Paul explains the difference between human wisdom and God's wisdom. You have not seen, heard, or imagined what God has prepared for those who love him- but in time you will know because you know the Spirit of God and he reveals what is freely given to you by grace. " Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith." Hebrews 12:1.

Prayer- God I am struggling through the suffering and pain I am experiencing. What are you doing in my soul through this suffering? Please give me understanding and increase my awareness of your presence. Help me to know the width, length, height, and depth of your love at this time. I am trusting that you will deliver me and comfort me as I walk with you. In Jesus' name, Amen.